This was the first episode back after the season break, and though it wasn’t much of a cliffhanger (because it was fairly obvious none of those in danger were going to die) it was a good episode overall, though I felt it suffered slightly from a bit of a weak second half, and highlighted the Ewings as a family (which is something Dallas TNT really needs to do more often)
Anyway, as the episode opens we’re back on the ranch and Southfork is ablaze. Trapped inside are Sue Ellen, Bobby & Christopher and Bo (ranch hand Heather’s former squeeze)
Bobby and Chris come to and start looking to help the others in the house. They lift a table off Bo (who’s still alive) and Bobby sets about looking for Ann (believing she’s inside) and Sue Ellen (and his chicken) while Chris hauls Bo outside. Over at the Omni Hotel, John Ross’s kinky threesome has gone awry following Pamela’s surprise overdose (which apparently she did to ensure that every time John Ross and Emma had sex all they’d be able to think about was her vomiting on them! Talk about ridiculous) anyway he’s pumping Pamela’s chest (she’s looking rather pasty) while Emma dithers in the corner phoning for an ambulance.
The paramedics arrive at the door and bundle Pamela onto a stretcher. They ask John Ross if she has a history of suicide attempts (he says no but doesn’t mention she’s killed someone, had someone killed, committed fraud, married two cousins, had a miscarriage and her father is locked up in a Mexican jail having taken all leave of his senses and become a super villain)
They dash out followed by a topless John Ross and leave trampy Emma standing in her corset. Cue opening credits!
Over at the bore-a-thon penthouse Elena and Nicholas (yawn! Looks like we’ll be seeing much more of these two in the years to come-should Dallas be renewed of course) are in bed groping each other. Naturally she has no knowledge of his tampering with her diaphragm, but why doesn’t she just ask him to wear a condom? and while I’m on the subject, Elena seems like the easiest person to get into bed ever. First she’s engaged to Christopher, then she gets an email saying he can’t go through with it, so she leaves him for John Ross and gets engaged to him, then she leaves him for Christopher again (having found out that Christopher didn’t actually send that nasty email), then she and Christopher have a falling out and she winds up with Nicholas-I can’t say how much I loathe this character)
Anyway, her phone goes and it’s Carmen telling her there’s a fire at Southfork! (Gasp!) She dashes out to the hospital. Over at which Bobby and Chris are talking (check out their matching plasters!) when they see Pamela brought in on a stretcher. I like how quickly they’ve all forgotten what a villain she was in the first season. Having said that, they way characters on the show change personalities it’s perhaps not such a big surprise after all.
John Ross arrives (cue another Bobby Chris team up!) Bobby pushes him against a door exclaiming ‘because of you’re cheating Pamela could die!’ (and because of Pamela Tommy, Rebecca and Frank did die) Christopher tells Bobby he’s not worth it just as slut Emma shows up proclaiming innocence about how the sex tape got to Pamela. Chris crows to John Ross about the fire and tells him Sue Ellen was inside before he struts off after Bobby (I actually feel sorry for John Ross, there’s hardly one person on the show who has anything nice to say to him-aren’t these people supposed to be a family?)
Over at Rylandstein Towers Harris is eyeing a picture of a young Ann when Judith enters and recounts a very odd story about Harris needing to suckle on her breast as a baby (there’s one for the grandkids if ever I heard one!) she tells him she saw him kissing Ann.
back at the hospital Elena enters and tells Chris she’s glad he’s ok. They hug just as Heather enters with Michael (who’s paranormal powers seem to be on the wane sadly) Chris tells her he thinks that Bo set the fire but Heather says she needs to hear him say it first or she doesn’t believe it. Emma tries to help John Ross but he coldly rebuffs her (ouch!) just as Ann arrives. (I thought it was nice to see them all together, there should be more scenes like this) Bobby tells Ann that Pamela overdosed and she tells Emma she has to move out of Southfork.
Elena gets on the phone to Nicholas and tells him a ranch hand set the fire (whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty!) and that at first she thought Drew might have done it. He tells her he will protect Drew from his rage even if it’s against his own will (that’s fine for Drew but who’s going to protect us from these woeful characters?) he leads Elena to believe he doesn’t know where Drew is but he’s actually there with Nicholas (albeit he can’t hear what’s being said as he’s in a separate room)
At the hospital Chris remains hell bent on believing that it was Bo who set the fire while Heather is told he has spinal chord damage but more won’t be known until Bo has surgery.
In Sue Ellen’s room she’s feeling a desperate need for the sauce and is frustrated that she can’t go home. The doctor tells her she can recommend some great programs if Sue Ellen wants to get help (‘been there, done that and the t-shirt is hanging up in the wardrobe’ is what Sue Ellen should tell the doc) Enter Bobby who tells Sue Ellen about Pamela’s overdose (Is there anyone in the hospital-whatever happened to Dallas Memorial-who doesn’t know about it? Bobby should just make an announcement over the speaker system)
They talk about the fire, Sue Ellen doesn’t remember much. Bobby he tells her he found her in John Ross’s room and asks what she was doing there. She says she was hungry and went downstairs to get something to eat (doesn’t really answer his question though) enter John Ross who is swiftly ejected by Sue Ellen who tells him to get out. Bobby says ‘Christopher is not here to stop me this time John Ross’ (and neither is the chicken!).
Sod’s law the only person who wants to be nice to him is Emma and he doesn’t want to know. ‘We didn’t make love, we screwed’ he tells her (don’t sugar coat it John Ross, tell her how you really feel!) she tells him she didn’t send the sex tape to Pamela. John Ross tells her they’re now strangers. She tells him they’re still business partners (what business have they ever done?) and that ‘we can do great things together’ even though they’ve yet to do a single great thing together.
Elesewhere Nicholas and cartel psycho Luis are having a man to man chat. Luis tells Nicholas that if he fails to stop Drew putting an end to his vendetta against the Ewings (seriously, does anyone care about any of the Ramos characters?) then Nicholas will have failed them again and Drew will pay with his life (wouldn’t a more effective threat be for Nicholas to pay with his?) apparently Nicholas was entrusted with investing $600,000,000 for the cartel and screwed it up (that Nicholas!) and that the cartel needs Ewing Global to fund their takeover of the Mexican government (this show gets weirder and weirder)
Back at the hospital Judith arrives to collect Emma and while doing so tells Bobby that Harris kissed Ann. Bobby is rather peeved by this news and goes off on Ann about it. (I really think Ann and Harris would make a much better couple than Bobby and Ann who are pretty boring together. Instead of Ann they could always bring Pam back with a recast or have April brought back following a séance. Judith could perform it to add to her list of many talents, business woman, brothel owner, coke snorter, paranormal investigator, it all fits really well)
Anyway, Bobby storms off after telling Ann that she looked him in the face and she lied…again! (what a hypocrite! who’s the person that’s been covering up the framing of Cliff Barnes for a crime he didn’t commit all this time) he goes to Southfork and is in one of the burnt out rooms when John Ross comes in. Bobby tells him if he wants to be a better man to be one. (Look who’s talking! I remember when Bobby was a better man, not the grouchy, angry person he is today)
Bo has his surgery and it goes well. For the first time ever Chris cuts someone some slack and asks that Bo be allowed to recuperate for a bit before being grilled (the real reason is that he wants to wait for Bobby to come back as he can’t do anything without him)
At the Ryland house Emma is feeling upset about being dumped by John Ross. Judith tells her to nurture her hurt until she can take vengeance on those who’ve wronged her (pretty much all of Dallas then)
Elena finds out from John Ross that Pamela received the sex tape following which Elena calls Nicholas and tells him she knows he sent the tape and tells him to call her back ‘right now’ which of course he doesn’t do because he’s too busy keeping dull Drew captive.
John Ross goes to see Pamela (she’s so rich her hotel room has patio doors!) he says he’s been trying to see her. He tells her he never loved Emma and he has no excuse for what he did and asks for another chance. Her gives her the plastic ring he gave her, but she swiftly drops it in the trash. She tells him she didn’t try to kill herself, she took the overdose so that from now on when John Ross thinks of sleeping with Emma (not sure he ever will to be honest) all he’ll be able to see will be Pamela on the floor with her eyes rolled back in her head ‘sexy huh?’ is what she says to him (er, not really Pamela, no) (I think the less said about it all the better, more and more it seems as if the makers of this incarnation of Dallas are asleep at the wheel and judging by the ratings a crash is imminent)
It seems as though crazy Pamela has resurfaced-it’s easy to see how she’s related to Katherine, Pamela and Cliff not so much.
Meanwhile Sue Ellen is in the hospital gift shop. She picks up a wedding card which causes her to have a flashback to the night of the fire. Apparently she went into John Ross’s room and helped her self to his bourbon (again, how irresponsible to have alcohol in the house with an alcoholic nearby-did no one think to remove it all beforehand?) before setting fire to a wedding invitation of John Ross and Pamela’s (as you do) she’s that in need of a drink she then takes a five finger discount of some extremely cheap looking aftershave and then finds a deserted corridor (wouldn’t a bathroom stall be more private?) before struggling against taking a swig of it. Thankfully she doesn’t do it (for me sober, strong Sue Ellen is infinitely more interesting than drunk) she goes to see Bobby and Ann in the waiting room and apologises, telling them she believes she started the fire (shouldn’t they be apologising to her? After swearing they’d help her they then neglect to do the most basic thing of ridding the house of all alcohol, but they seem not to be even the slightest bit guilty) she tells them she’s an alcoholic and will be until the day she dies and Ann hugs her (why is Ann the only person who dishes out hugs on Dallas?)
This lets Bo off the hook who’s being questioned when Chris enters his room (for once he isn’t with Bobby) they make peace as Heather and Michael enter before Chris leaves, no doubt feeling the outsider to a close family scene.
At Southfork (which despite the blazing fire only seems to have one room damaged) Bobby and Ann are having a heart to heart. Bobby says he wonders what secrets she’s keeping from him (again look who’s talking!) Bobby says he should stay and oversee the rebuilding and repairs to the place (this will be in vain but should a season 4 happen, please can we see a return to the original floor plan) Ann asks if he’s kicking her out and he says he needs ‘some time to figure things out’ (that would be a yes then) and she leaves (go see Harris Ann!)
Back with the fiendish Nicholas he and one of the cartel members have Drew. It turns out that it was Drew who started the fire. Drew swears he will destroy the Ewings (I can’t wait to see the back of the whole Ramos revenge plot, the whole story is totally stupid and ill thought out. I’d rather see the McKays return than I would watch this-whatever happened to Drew not being able to live with his guilt?) Nicholas tells him the Ewings will pay as Luis enters. He mentions the money he lost for the cartel. Drew says Elena would despise Nicholas if she knew the he was using her and that they both knew he was dead the moment Nicholas brought him to the cartel. Drew is then ordered up and his St Christopher’s medal is removed (that did him a lot of good) before he says he will save Nicholas a seat in hell before he is shot in the head by the cartel henchman. I honestly can’t say I’m sorry to see the back of him, he was a very weak character right from the start.
Next: Episode 10 ‘Dead Reckoning’