Again this episode was ok, the slower pacing is a definite improvement. The problem, for me, is that as a drama it pales in comparison to some of the other shows on TV today, and as Dallas it’s really not that good either (I would say, quality wise, it’s about level with the later, more maligned, seasons of the original show) That said I do hope it stays on the air because if it gets cancelled surely no one will touch Dallas again for many years, if ever again and it does seem to be, finally, moving somewhat in the right direction.
Anyway, the episode starts at Ewing Global, John Ross is on the phone yammering about his permit being cancelled when local perv Stanley Babcock had already approved it. He’s told to take it up with the new Rail Road Commissioner, who we all know, is Bobby (sure he can’t wait to help John Ross out!)
Sue Ellen watches him and upon seeing her he storms into her office. ‘What were you thinking?!’ he lambasts his poor mother, ‘I was only with Emma to get the drill ships’ he tells her. Sue Ellen says he’s drunk on power! (I can’t believe she’s only just noticed!) he says he may be, but she’s just drunk (touché!) and says her decisions are those of an irrational alcoholic.
Next he runs into Bobby and Christopher (Bobby should just carry Chris around in his top pocket, the poor guy has no life without him) they both lay into John Ross a bit. Bobby says he’s ok being the new RRC because he’s divested his shares (er, what shares?) to Christopher (I never would’ve guessed!) He also says that J.R.’s plan was for them all to work together (Er no, J.R’s plan was to frame an innocent man for murder) John Ross wipes the smug looks off their faces though when he calls Bobby a hypocrite (too true, Bobby has almost never stopped shouting at John Ross for one thing or another since 2012, hardly ‘working together’)
Next Chris approaches Elena (to show off his new deputies badge) he asks her if she’s found out anything about Nicholas they can use as it appears that he’s had his past ‘professionally cleaned’ (wonder what products they used) she tells him she’ll look into it. Try as I might I just can’t warm to Elena, I just don’t see what the purpose of the character is or why the Ramos family are continually forced on us at the expense of other characters and storylines, when they’re easily the most pointless and boring characters on the show.
Anyway, in a panic Elena texts Nicholas and when he arrives (doesn’t this ‘billionaire’ have anything better to do than follow Elena around?) she tells him that the Ewings are trying to find out who he is, that they know he’s changed his identity and that if they do they’ll find out his connection to her (let’s hope so!) he says they won’t find anything, that his cover story of him being an orphan living on the streets is airtight (course it is). He tells her to work on turning Pamela and he’ll work on John Ross.
Nicholas approaches John Ross in the boardroom and tells him he can’t believe the company is going to pass on the arctic leases, he calls them a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’ (I wouldn’t go that far) John Ross offers him a drink of J.R’s special blend (and this time it’s not bugged-though I’m surprised that they keep liquor in the office with Sue Ellen nearby) John Ross says they should put down their swords and Nicholas suggests they go for a drink after work (BFFs already!)
Over by the coffee Elena runs into Pamela and suggests an after work drink ‘the boys shouldn’t have all the fun’ she says (trust me they won’t be having any) Pamela likes the idea she asks if she should invite Emma (NO!!) Elena says the more the merrier (though in this case it’s the fewer the merrier)
Over at Southfork Ann (another side lined character) is riding on the ranch when she happens across everyone’s, least, favourite minx Emma. She thanks Ann for letting her back on Southfork, and says she realises John Ross was only using her. Ann tells her she’s glad Emma realises it adding ‘you have so much more to offer men than just sex (er, no, she doesn’t) then she says she never really understood unconditional love until Bobby (and now she understands it even less than before!)
Speak of the devil back at Ewing Global Bobby sees Nicholas leaving the office and goes up to him. Nicholas says Bobby’s taking a circuitous route to stop John Ross fracking by becoming the new RRC. Bobby retorts that he’s been surprised to find out how many subsidiaries Trevino Industries has and tells him the Rail Road Commission is not as friendly as it once was (now that Babcock can spend all day chasing women in fancy dress there’s a new man in town!) Nicholas says it sounds like a threat (just a bit)
Next John Ross and Nicholas (who must have moved like lightning) are in a bar, John Ross’s secretary (who is yet to actually be seen doing any work) Candace approaches and comes on to him but John Ross quickly gives her the brush off.
Nicholas returns with the drinks and the two have a toast. Nick tells John Ross he sympathises but his hands are tied because he’s working for Cliff. John Ross asks him to talk to Cliff. Elsewhere in the bar a celebration is going on, John Ross turns to watch a parade of ladies going by and sees Hunter McKay (Supposedly West Star exec Carter McKay’s grandson) John Ross tells Nicholas how Carter and J.R. used to do battle back in the day just as Hunter sees him and beckons them over. (I thought it was a nice nod to an original series character, though as usual with Dallas 2.0 it actually raises more questions than it answers. Now we’re left to wonder who Hunter and his mystery brother’s parents are, psycho Tommy or man eating shrew Tracey, and how is it that they could have played Basketball with John Ross and Christopher when they must be at least 10 years younger)
Over at Southfork Ann and Sue Ellen are having a brew. Sue Ellen says she thought she was doing the right thing in teaming up with Bobby against John Ross. Ann says they’ve both practiced tough love with their children with her throwing nympho Emma off Southfork and that it seemed to work, John Ross and Emma are no longer having their affair. Sue Ellen says she hopes so and that she just wished it hadn’t cost her John Ross.
Back at the bar Hunter McKay is busy telling John Ross about taking his company public and how the best part of it was that he could buy up the controlling interest himself. It is also made clear that Carter McKay is still alive (as is George Kennedy. Just strictly guessing I would say that Carter McKay will make a reappearance and so will Tracey-Beth Toussaint who played her is still acting, and she will be the ‘old flame’ that is supposedly set to give Bobby reason to be tempted to cheat on Ann, perhaps also she will reveal that Hunter is Bobby’s son?)
Across town Elena, Pamela and Emma are on their wild night out. Pamela says she wishes Candace would stop flirting with John Ross (and actually get some work done for a change!) Elena gets her phone out and shows the other two a pic showing off Candace’s rather large knockers saying that Jill and the others have a betting pool going on for how short Candace’s dress is going to get. Emma asks how she can type with her large chest in the way (the answer is she doesn’t type. At all. Joan Harris from Mad Men should come over and show her how it’s done) Pamela says she hopes John Ross wouldn’t cheat on her and Emma (the slut) and Elena (the nutcase) reassure her how much John Ross loves her and that he wouldn’t cheat.
Back at Southfork Pamela is getting ready for bed when John Ross comes in. He says he thinks he’s found a way to solve their problems and get Cliff out of their lives for good (I’d much rather he got rid of Elena, Carmen & Drew) but he’ll need her help.
At the stables Elena is meeting with a P.I. who says they’ll put surveillance into John Ross’s office and penthouse. She tells Elena (on receipt of several photographs and a large wad of cash) ‘if he’s cheating we’ll find out’.
The next day Heather is throwing sacks around when Deputy Chris enters (looking for Bobby no doubt) Heather says she’s glad John Ross’s fracking operation has been shut down for good (well it’s been shut down, but hardly likely it will be for good) the two make out. They are interrupted when Bo pulls up to drop off Michael. ‘Hope I’m not interrupting something’ he says (only a very tedious storyline) they argue (I think Heather seems like she’s still hung up on Bo, queue new heartbreak for Chris, not to worry though, Bobby will fix everything) Bo drives off leaving Michael with Heather and Chris (I thought he told Chris to stay away from his family?) Chris takes Michael into the office with him saying that it’s ‘take a kid into work day’ (which means Michael should be the one taking Chris into the office) at Ewing Global Chris has a whale of time manoeuvring the model ships around the map while Michael sits looking totally bored.
Somehow Elena’s P.I. appears to now magically be working for Ewing Global as she struts over to Candace and tells her an error been made on one of Candace’s pieces of work (she works?!) of course Candace doesn’t say, ‘are you new? I haven’t seen you here before! What’s your name, let’s have lunch!’ she simply accepts what she’s told and goes off to sort it out while the P.I. slips into John Ross’s office (naturally unnoticed by an full office of people) and plants a hidden camera. Meanwhile John Ross enters and goes into Sue Ellen’s office, he tells her she was right and that cheating on Pamela was wrong but what she did and the way she did it was out of line. Sue Ellen tells him he hurt her. he says he needs her help to take Ewing Global public. She asks him if it’s really over with Emma then says she’ll support him but even with her shares (what shares?) he still won’t have enough for a supermajority. ‘Leave that to me’ says the cheeky scamp.
Across town he meets with Nicholas. John Ross tells him if he votes with him to take the company public they can get the arctic leases and ‘freedom from those who hold us back’. He also offers Nicholas 3% (generous!) of royalties on all oil produced to sweeten the deal.
At Southfork Chris is dropping Michael off with Heather. (The poor little kid has fallen asleep from boredom) Chris offers to help Heather out with money but she turns him down (and will no doubt be on his doorstep the following morning with a blank cheque)
Back at Ewing Global Candace is actually working(!) when she gets a text from Harris about their plan. She goes into John Ross’s office wearing the dress they want to use to frame him and starts to take it off (call me daft but I thought the idea was to get his semen on the dress, how will they do that if it’s in a corner of the office?) Anyway, he sends her packing but Sue Ellen sees her leaving and jumps to conclusions about what’s just happened.
Across town the encounter is seen, via the hidden camera in J.R.III’s office, by Elena and Nicholas (who are looking for a way to spice up their love life and figure voyeurism ought to do it)
Elena (yawn!) thinks they’ve got it wrong about John Ross being a cheater. Nicholas tells her about John Ross’s plan to take E.G. public and says they could take the company for themselves, that the Ewings took everything from her (no the didn’t) and that it will help her get justice (no it won’t) by taking everything from them.
In the office the next day John Ross has his meeting to vote on going public. He, Pamela and Nicholas vote ‘I’ but Sue Ellen, convinced John Ross lied to her, votes against it.
Back at her house she’s in the process of having one (or several!) stiff drinks when John Ross enters and the two start to argue (I thought this scene really carried the whole episode, as Linda Gray’s performances are really carrying this season and to think they had her relegated to almost guest star status in the first series!) She tells him she saw Candace leaving his office and accuses him of lying, saying he’s an expert at it just like J.R. (she’s got that right!) he screams that ‘I’m NOT my father!!’ (calm down mate!) Sue Ellen drops the only swear word that exists in Dallas. John Ross asks her why she’s drinking again (maybe she’s thirsty?) before saying she’s haunted by the ghost of J.R. (and I wouldn’t be surprised if Nicholas Pearce’s ghost is knocking about somewhere too)
He storms out and outside decides to have her committed (as you do) He returns to his penthouse and Emma’s waiting for him with a file, he needs on a judge to get his court order to have Sue Ellen committed, but before she’ll hand it over she makes it clear what she wants (and that involves him giving her head) before she tells him to ‘go home and kiss your wife’ (not sure Pamela would appreciate that to be honest Emma) Of course there’s another hidden camera planted in his penthouse (along with the one in his shopping bag, the one in his car and the one in Ann’s shotgun) and the footage is seen by kinky Elena (who’s now hooked on watching other people have sex)
John Ross goes to see the judge and gives him the file which contains photos of him in kinky situations (the judge that is, not John Ross) isn’t anyone in Dallas on the straight and narrow?! John Ross gets his court order and Sue Ellen is taken into protective custody (maybe they’ll give her Judith’s old room)
Back at Southfork John Ross is sitting alone when Bobby, Ann and Chris enter laughing (having just watched the latest episode of Duck Dynasty) Bobby asks him why he’s sitting in the dark. John Ross tells them that Sue Ellen is drinking again and he’s had her taken away. He says with her incapacitated he’ll get her power of attorney and he’ll be voting to take Ewing Global public and there isn’t a damn thing they can do to stop him! (nothing like a spot of treachery to ruin a perfectly good evening) then he struts off in slow motion (to go brush his teeth)
Next week:- Episode 7 ‘Like a Bad Penny’